12th May 2020
Hermann Hesse’s essay “Zarathustra’s Return: A word to German youth” written in 1919 gives some thoughts on the topics of destiny and integrity, action and suffering, and solitude, all of which are of great relevance to me at this stage of my life. Though no longer young, I feel both excited and unsure of my future life in a new country. Having moved to Tasmania for three months, I feel as if I were born anew. Every day, I am getting to know myself a little more. I have the time to examine my body and soul once again. This is a privilege reserved for only very small children who do not have to worry about getting dressed for school. Time is on their side.
Most children have many dreams about their future, so much so that they can change their minds every now and then. It’s common to hear a child saying that she wants to be an athlete one day, then a pop star the next, or an inventor for a period of time, and so on and so forth. Adults would smile at her imagination; they might even encourage other possibilities. If a grown-up tells you the same however, such naivety would be frowned at. Such a character cannot be trusted, most people would say. She could be labeled an overage dreamer. Moving to a new country gives me the opportunity to dream again. I would, of course, be silly to tell others that I want to be a scientist or a physician at my age. I can rule out quite many caprices that are whimsical and unrealistic not because of a lack of imagination. I simply know my limitations. But even so, there are still plenty of choices, some of which might lead me back to the same path as before. I should do my best to avoid going into that direction, bearing in mind what I want to do most for the rest of my days. I want to be a writer. It has always been my dream ever since I was little. I should perhaps stay true to myself, and ignore other noises. Herman Hesse’s advice comes at a right time. I should spend time learning to know my destiny.
On the topic of action and suffering, Herman Hesse warns his German youth not to confuse action with activity. People choose to carry out some activity because they want to avoid suffering. While some activities do have meaning, most of them are just time-wasters. Isn’t it why ‘mindless activities’ makes better word collocation than ‘mindless actions’? Actions are conscious and they result from careful considerations. Going to work in the modern world, unfortunately, has become a daily activity. Most people do it either because they want to avoid living in poverty, or upsetting their family. Few people are lucky to wake up every morning, and make a conscious choice of going to work because they enjoy what they are doing rather than because they want to avoid the suffering of unemployment. If I choose to do some activity that brings an immediate income, let’s say, giving piano lessons or English tutorials, or working for others on their projects, my motive is primitive: to avoid a frugal life. These money-making activities might avoid certain kinds of suffering, but I will most likely hate myself for not taking a noble act one day. I will regret not having listened to my inner voice and continued writing full-time.
I gather from a comparatively shorter section on solitude that Hesse really thinks that not everyone wants to seek out a life in solitude, and the kind of solitude he has in mind is not necessarily a romantic view of a poet or an artist contemplating her life. Life in solitude still allows someone to live among others who can be her family, the herd and the crowds. But she must spend time reflecting upon life, learning about her destiny, and accepting all kinds of suffering. Cultivating the mind is important so the time spent alone is not wasted. As I observe how people react to the lockdown during the pandemic, it seems to me that those who cope better are the ones who quietly accept a solitary life without much complaint. As I watch my husband roll up his sleeves painting the floors of the deck in the garden, I get close to the nature, too. With a spade and a bucket in hand, I remove weeds, digging up their roots, and ploughing the soil for grass and plants, all of these will make the lawn look more pleasant. We are almost always together with our three dogs. We are never alone by ourselves, and yet the time we work on the nature gives us a moment to meditate. Physical work creates a calming effect.
Finally, a word to Hong Kong youth. My thoughts go to those who were arrested on 10th May. This mother’s day witnessed once again police brutality which makes it an unforgettable one. Citizens as young as thirteen years old were bullied and arrested. Women were beaten up by male police in the toilets before being taken back to the station. A legislator who attempted to help a mother find her two daughters by making enquiries with the police was pushed and lost his balance. After he fell down on the floor, as many as a dozen policemen rushed to further drag him down. At least two policemen knelt on his head as though they wanted to murder him. Why were such normal activities as walking in the streets and the shopping malls met with excessive police force? If young people think that by singing songs and chanting slogans, they can help preserve Hong Kong’s legal system and its freedoms, in short, its integrity, think again. Take meaningful actions rather than just following the herd. No matter what actions the young generations take, there will be a lot of suffering. Learn to know your own suffering, and try to make sense of it. Each person’s suffering is different, yet you must spend time reflecting on your own. Learn to know your destiny and live it. Time is on your side.